From the Ashes
by Little Bird93
Summary: Kagome does the unthinkable after she finally snaps from seeing InuYasha and Kikyo together... again. Will InuYasha be able to save her this time or will Kagome sucumb to her inner demons, and what will be the consequences of their actions?
1. Prologue

Prologue

Kagome bolts from the well house, tears streaming down her face as she runs towards her room, towards her escape. _Why does this keep happening! _Her mind reels as she goes over the memories of what she just witnessed. _It'll never change! Ill never change! I don't know why I even bother! I'm done! _She stopped as the thought passed through her mind…. Was she really? She remembered back to the scene from the forest.

She had seen the soul collectors that night, but she chose to ignore them, that is until Inuyasha went missing. She knew she was foolish to go searching the woods for him but she was just so frightened that he might get trapped under another one of Kikyo's spells…. He couldn't go to hell with her, not yet. She decided she would just go towards the well, after all, who was she to stop Kikyo if she wanted to drag Inuyasha to her inferno that night? He wanted to go anyways right? So might as well go home and leave them be…. She wasn't wanted anyways, all she did was get in the way. That's all she ever did. It was because of her that Inuyasha always got hurt during battle trying to protect her, she was such a useless human. That's why he loved Kikyo. She was strong, beautiful and actually had a hold on her powers! No wonder he loved her, and she only got in the way of that too! They belonged together! Not her, she had no one. Or at least that was what she had told herself when she left Kaedes hut that night. She couldn't stand the thought of Inuyasha in her harms! So when she stumbled upon them on the way to the well she froze. She watched as his lips met hers under the pale glow of the moon and her heart shattered, completely, for the last time. How could he hold that, that….. Shell! She tried so hard to look away but her eyes were fixed on the way he held her close and stroked her hair as she whispered into his soft, sweet ears "I love…."

And that's when she ran, as hard and as fast as her legs would take her. As her head spun with the lingering details of the memory she knew her mind was made. _Yes _she thought,_ I'm done! There's no place for me in this world or the past! I'm tired of being a replacement! I'm tired of being lonely! _As she bolted through the empty house she grabbed the first knife she found on her way through the kitchen and up the stairs. As she threw herself on the bed she let out a final heart tangled gasp as she brought the blade down onto her arm. The pain was overwhelming! All that she ever held onto, all the rejection she had swallowed over the years, and all her sadness from never having a place to fit poured from her core from that solitary wound that snaked down her arm along her vain. She dropped the knife and grabbed her wrist as she watched her "redemption" trickle to her fingertips and fall to the floor. _**Drip…**_ _so this is what salvation feels like. __**Drip….**__ like I'm sinking into the darkness, away from the harsh, burning light __**Drip….**__ finally my mind… is… sile~ __**Drip… drip… drip…. **_As Kagome's body began to relax and her limbs grew heavier, she knew that she would soon be free of her tormented sub conscious as she began to slip into a dark abyss somewhere between a dream and death….

AN: Ok ok, I know, TOTALLY angsty to start off with… but trust me! I have a very good story in mind and it will get better! (and happier :D) just bear with me! And please no flames calling me emo or whatever, this is my first attempt and I did put a lot of thought into this so please only constructive criticism! Thanks J *Little Bird*


	2. Misunderstandings

**~Feudal Japan~**

"Inuyasha!" Kagome screamed as she was thrown by the gust from the tail whip of the giant snake yokai that had just attacked their little group. Inuyasha swooped down barely missing the snake's skull with his razor claws and snatches Kagome out of harms way.

Sango drew her sword and charged, hiraikotsu almost useless in this sort of battle, "Miroku, to the left!" she yells as she charged reminding the houshi of the dangerous tail.

"Hai, Sango! I've got you covered!" With that he throws a sacred scroll straight to the snakes forehead . The snake thrashes about in pain as the scroll sears into its head, tail almost hitting the furious hanyou in the process.

"Oi wench! You stay outta the way while we handle this! I don't need to be worrying about your sorry ass every time I swing my sword!" and with that he leapt into the air throwing back "Where's the shard!" on his way up.

"The rattler on his tail!" Kagome yelled.

With that Inuyasha attacked again, using the brief chaos caused in the snake by the ofuda to his advantage. This time his claws actually struck cutting the snake in half. As the pieces fell to the floor Kagome ran to the tip of the tail to grab the shard from the carcass but as soon as she reached down the bloody mass pulsated and whipped about again before drawing itself together and sending Kagome flying back toward the trees. Inuyasha darted over to Kagome to see if she was all right. _Damn it Kagome! Be careful! I cant lose you! _he thought frantically to himself. He scooped her up and laid her next to Shippou behind the safety of a fallen tree, and as her eye lids fluttered back open, she saw as the snake curled around lightening fast to tear into Inuyasha's side. Kagome screamed as he stiffened and his eyes went blank for a moment before he turned and managed to claw the snake off just in time for Sango to slice off the creatures head. Kagome hurriedly snatched up the shard before the snake could reattach itself again and then ran towards Inuyasha. _Please be alive! Please be alive! _Her mind shouted over and over as she ran to his side. _Oh if only I wasn't so slow this would have never happened! Oh Inuyasha I'm so sorry!_ Miroku was already helping to get him onto Kiaras back when she got there. Tears filled her eyes as she gazed up to him, "Stupid girl" he said coarsely, "Ill be fine, quit looking at me like that."

"Oh…." was all she could choke out before they started heading back towards Kaede's village.

He could sense it. Even in the state he was in as he was healing. The soul collectors hovering through the trees right on the out skirts of the village. _Kikyo… What are you doing here…. _He continued to pretend to sleep, opting to just listen to the others as they quietly shuffled around Kaede's hut setting up dinner and going on with the usual nightly routines. All of them except Kagome. Something was wrong, he could smell the distress in her scent. His ears twitched towards the girl as Sango went to kneel beside her.

"Are you okay Kagome?" she asked as she tried to look Kagome in the face.

"Ya," she replied, averting her eyes so her friend wouldn't see the tears threatening to push through. "I'm just a little shaken after today, and worried about Inuysha…." she whispered so low that Sango had to lean in to hear her…. Which in turn prompted a certain houshi's hand to snake out and steal a feel.

"Miroku! You hentai! Cant you see were talking!" she screamed turning her scarlet face to Miroku and bumping him on the head with her Hiraikotsu. As Miroku and Sango began their usual argument, Shippou crawled into Kagome's lap. _Baka Inuyasha _he thought _I know he upset her again! Why cant he just be nicer to my Kagome-chan?_ Snuggling her stomach he said,

"It's alright Kagome, Inuyasha will be fine, I can already smell that his wounds are nearly healed! He'll be ready to "sit" again by the morning." Kagome clenched her jaw and squeezed her eyes fighting the tears that were there at the edge._ Don't cry baka! _she thought. _You'll only upset everyone more if they notice your crying! …and I've caused enough damage for one day…._ As she chocked back her emotions she glanced over at Inuyasha and watched as his ears swiveled around and his nose twitched once before

she let out a sigh,

"Thanks Shippou…" she murmured as she pet the young kitsune. _He can smell her I bet… She's not far off so I wouldn't be surprised. I sensed the soul collectors on the way in. Its horrible, but at least I know he'll stay here tonight. He needs to rest from his wounds…_ She thought doubtfully.

Inuyasha could smell the tears she was trying so desperately to fight back… Why was she so upset? Was it the soul collectors out side? _No,_ he thought_ She hasn't been out of the hut since we got here, there's no way she's seen them yet. But I have to go see why Kikyo has come here… forgive me Kagome. _That night as the others slept, Inuyasha crept from the hut, his wounds nearly healed and stood out side the door for a moment. He looked back one last time towards Kagome before he sniffed the air and bolted off into the trees. _I hope she doesn't wake up… _He was nearly to the Goshinboku tree when he caught a glimpse of her sitting on a branch, her soul collectors twirling around her and caressing her skin.

"Kik…." Inuyasha was cut short as Kikyo floated down to rest her finger on his lips, silencing him.

"I've come to say good bye, Inuyasha. I grow tired of this existence, feeding off the souls of young maidens to sustain my unnatural being." She stepped forward into his arms. Inuyasha welcomed her in sadly, burying his nose into her hair he whispered, "How…. Why…"

"My place is not here, and I no longer wish to wander this lonely Earth. I am simply going to will myself to peace and my soul collectors will take me home." As she said this, her silky demons started to dance in the beams of moonlight that glistened through the trees above their heads. She rose her head to glance up at them before she gazed back into Inuyasha's amber orbs. _Beautiful…. _She rose to her toes, closing the gap between them and placed a gentle kiss on his lips. He drew her up and deepened their kiss in memory of what they once had, _good bye Kikyo._ She sighed and as they parted she whispered into his soft ivory ear, "I love you Inuyasha, my spirit will always be with you."

With that said, her soul collectors flew down to wrap around her body and a look of peace softened her features. As they lifted her up a bright light started to emanate from within her chest, and as it grew Kikyo began to vanish. A final sigh was heard as her presence was wisped away with the wind and she was gone.

Inuyasha just stared into the sky, happy for his first love. _Finally you have peace. _He was brought out of his memories as the breeze brought a familiar scent to his nose. _No! _he thought, _Kagome! _Her scent was laced with fear and sadness, he could almost taste the fresh hint of salt that her tears had left behind. He raced after her scent and leapt into the well. "Come on! Stupid portal GO FASTER!" he growled. His stomach was in knots as he feared for Kagome. "Man I really blew it this time! She's really gonna sit me for this!" he muttered.

As he jumped from the portal, now on her side of the well, he was hit smack in the face with the scent of blood, and lots of it. _No, _he thought, _that's Kagome's blood! His heart stopped at this realization and it took all his might to push past his fear for the young miko and sprint into the house, "Kagome!"_


	3. Into the Fire

"_Where am I…." _Kagome wondered to herself. _"I feel so heavy." _The young miko relaxed as she allowed for the numbness to spread through out her body, all she could feel now was a dull thud from the wound on her arm as her pulse slowly started to ebb away. Everything was dark, but calm. She wasn't afraid, she wasn't anything. In this tiny universe tucked inside herself, there was nothing. Nothing except for that annoying _**thud thud thud.**_ At least that was starting to get quieter too.

As Inuyasha bolted up the stairs his ears searched for any signs of life. He could faintly detect a dull pulse coming from upstairs, but it wasn't very strong. _Oh Kami! Please be okay Kagome! _He threw open the door of Kagome's room and his knees almost gave out from under him.

There was Kagome sprawled on her bed, her eyes open but unseeing and her arm dangling over the side. _**Drip drip drip**__…._ That was the thud he had heard before, almost as though the wound on her arm had taken over her pulse as the crimson river spilled over to stain the bed and the carpet. Inuyasha ran over to the dying girl and cradled her head to his chest. Wiping the sweat from her face, he gave her a little shake. "Wake up Kagome!" he pleaded.

"_Inu…yasha…? Why…" _Kagome felt a small tug on the fringes of her consciousness as Inuyasha's voice began to break through. _No _she thought_ I don't want to leave here! _She fought as her senses started to come back to her, and with them came the pain she was so desperately trying to escape.

Inuyasha could faintly smell death creeping into her as her face paled, "What did you do you stupid girl! C'mon! Just wake up already!" he begged over and over. He grabbed her torn arm and squeezed above the wound trying anything to get the bleeding to stop. "Just hang in there Kagome, Ill get you through this…." He frantically looked around the room for something to tie around her arm, finding a shirt he made quick work of it and began to gather her up to take her to Kaede's. _She'll know what to do…_

Kagome felt the a surge of heat rush through her arm and into her chest as a sudden pressure strangled the pulse from her wound. _AAHH! _Still unable to move, the silent scream rang through her tormented mind. She felt like her body was being torn into a million pieces from the inside out as she finally emerged from her mental solitude. Her eyes fluttered open and she gazed up into two brilliant and terrified amber orbs. "Inu…yasha…"

"Kagome!" he all but yelled in sudden relief, "Kamis! I thought I lost you! Don't worry, I'm going to get you help, just hang in there!"

"No…" she whispered. "I don't…" but he cut her off as he scooped her up and flew out the window and down into the well.

She couldn't help it, there was no strength left in her body to fight him. She knew she was close to death and she wanted nothing more than to just slip away from all the pain once and for all. _Why wont you just let me die Inuyasha. You don't want me anyway. No one wants me… Why cant you just let me rid you all from this burden… _She allowed herself to slip back into her mental void, hoping it would all be over soon.

Inuyasha burst into Kaede's hut with the limp miko in his arms, his hairo covered in blood. "My child! What has happened!" Kaede whispered in shock.

"I don't know! It doesn't matter! Just save her you ol' hag!" Inuyasha pled helplessly. He laid Kagome on the bed mat in the corner of the hut, keeping her head in his lap as he stroked her hair willing her heart to keep beating just a while longer. Kaede knelt down by the wound, removing the shirt and rubbing herbs around she edges. She busied herself trying to seal the wound and stop the bleeding as best she could and as she rewrapped Kagomes arm she looked over to Inuyasha and sighed.

"I don't believe she is going to make it Inuyasha… she has already lost so much blood and I don't sense the will to fight in her any more." As she spoke, tears began to spill from her eyes and she held the young miko's hand, stroking it sadly.

Inuyasha looked at her blankly. _No!_ his mind screamed. His eyes fell back to Kagome, his blood beginning to boil as he watched her breath becoming more shallow. "I will NOT give up and watch her die! Do you HEAR me you witch! There has to be SOMETHING I can do!"

Kaede flinched as she saw his amber eyes flicker red with his intense emotion. That's when it dawned on her. There was a way to save Kagome, but the chances were very slim and it could only work with Inuyasha's demon blood boiling so close to the surface. It was very dangerous though and she wasn't quite sure what the consequences of such an act would be, or if Inuyasha would be able to control his demon side long enough to complete the spell.

"Inuyasha," she whispered, "there is a way, but its very dangerous and I know not what will come of it…."

"What is it! Anything! Who cares what! Just tell me!" he growled at her.

"You'll have to transfer some of your yoki into her body, that's the only thing strong enough to sustain her heart until she can heal from this. Once your yoki bonds with her body though, there is no going back, it will remain with her forever."

"Well tell me what to do witch! The consequences don't matter, I'll deal with them later! Right now we just have to save her!" he growled again, frustrated at what he interpreted as a lack of urgency. He was slowly beginning to lose it, he couldn't lose Kagome! She was everything to him… He stopped and looked at the girl after his sudden realization, of course he'd do anything to save her, no matter what.

Kaede sighed. _He's right. We have to save Kagome, consequences be damned… _

"Okay Inuyasha, find the pulse in her wound and bite. Will you power into her body, will your energies to heal her and will your strength to take hold of her heart. Your instincts will guide you through the rest."

He nodded and wiped the hair from Kagomes face, "be strong" he whispered before he moved her head off his lap and took Kaede's seat next to her torn arm. He took a deep breath trying to prepare himself for what he was about to do when he was suddenly hit again with the sickly strong scent of Kagomes blood laced with death. His eyes flashed red as he growled and clamped his fangs into her wound feeling the pulse emanating from within, and willed his strength to flow into her.

Kagomes eyes flashed open and her back arched as she felt her body being engulfed in a searing white light. Her mind went blank as something started to creep through her veins, taking hold of every nerve and bringing it back to life. Finally it reached down to her very core and her heart sputtered one last time before it stopped. Her body went limp and her eyes fluttered shut.

Inuyasha relinquished his hold on her arm, drawing back in shock as he listened to her heart give way. He leaned forward, gently stroking her face, "C'mon! You're supposed to be better now! Be strong Kagome! Fight!" He dropped his forehead onto her hers, choking out a defeated growl when he heard it.

_**Thud… Thud… Thud…**_

_**All of a sudden her heart jolted back stronger than ever. He sat back up to examine her, "Did it work… Is she… alive?" She looked like she was merely sleeping, the color was slowly returning to her face as the wound finally stopped bleeding. She was healing.**_

_**AN: Okay, so a little intense. I just want to throw it out there that I don't in any way shape or form condone suicide or self mutilation. Now, with that said, hopefully we can get this ball rollin' now :D thanks to those who've been keeping up with me so far! ~Little Bird~**_


	4. Awakenig

"_**Kagome, be strong…."**_

"_Inuyasha…. I cant… I wont… Please make it stop!" _Kagome silently plead as she fought to remain in the sanctuary she had made for herself safely tucked away deep in the darkness of her sub consciousness. The pain emanating from her arm had began to spread again throughout her body devouring the bitter numbness she had so longed for. "_Why cant I just stay here, Inuyasha? I don't have to fight here, I don't have to feel…" _

All she wanted was peace, why was that so much to ask! She knew the void could offer her at least that much so why not allow her to slip away into the darkness where nothing could ever hurt her again; she could be safe…. Right? The soft thud weakly droned on, the last remnants of reality starting to fade as she waited, counting the beats until she could be free. _**Thud…**_ the pain in her arm slowly started to recede- _**Thud…**_ as the cold began to spread through her body- _**Thud… **_and her heart gave its final push.

She started to sink deeper again, the weight of the world leaving her mind for good when suddenly a sharp pain wrenched her out of the void. A searing white light began to burn away the edges of the darkness causing her mind to scream out in agony, "_What is… happening… to me!"_

Before she could even begin to fight it she felt the white light begin to tear through every fiber of her being. The pain was unimaginable! She could feel her body being torn apart bit by bit all the way through to her very core. The light finally seeped into her mind, consuming everything she had in its fiery rampage. Every piece of her felt as though it was going to melt away and then…. Nothing. As suddenly as it began, it left. Everything was still as her mind went silent.

Then a piercing growl ripped through her dragging her back to reality. She pushed against it with all her might, "_I was almost there,_" she cried. As though in response to her thought the growl escalated ferociously and gave another mental tug. The entity then began to take control of the rest of her body empowering her with its energy. Kagome felt as the energy focused in and fused with her heart bringing the dull thud back to life with a fiery intensity. "_Where is all this power coming from! What is happening to me?" _Kagome gasped. There was no way to fight it off now, the energy had already melded into her soul and she could feel as her body began to change. It was like all the shattered pieces left behind from the pain she was just forced to endure were being sewn back together.

Her nerves danced with the electrifying pulse that shot through her system, repairing and strengthening every cell in her body. Something was wrong though, this life was not hers, it was foreign and frightening. The growl maintained and she yelled through the noise, "_Who are you! What are you doing to me! Why cant you LEAVE ME ALO-" _

She was cut off by a viscous snarl, _"Silence girl!" _it barked. _"I am the spirit of the great Inu Youkai and I have been ordered to heal what you have so foolishly tried to destroy!"_

Kagome gasped, "_Inu… Youkai… but I am human, how can-"_

She was cut off by another harsh growl as the entity again tugged at her tortured being, this time though it was centered at where she assumed the wound in her arm would be. She winced as she felt the flesh begin to fuse together, welded by this borrowed energy.

"_You have been given a gift miko," _the entity snarled_, "I have become one with your body to save your life."_

With that the growl faded along with the white light. The pain was gone and she sighed in relief. After relishing in her new found calm for a while, she began to become aware of her surroundings. She could hear the wind out side the-

She stopped. Outside the what? Where was she? She couldn't yet bring herself to open her eyes so she just listened. She couldn't hear anyone talking, just the wind. No traffic, no sirens, nothing really except the soft rustle of leaves from outside. _So I must be in Feudal Japan…._

She concentrated on that for a while, letting her mind relax and flow with the soft melody that was the summer breeze. _I can't believe I'm still here, _she thought. _I had been so close to dying if not for- um… if not for what exactly. What was that? How did- Why was- Inu Youkai?_

She heard a movement not far from her, felt the breeze as it was shifted towards her. _Cinnamon and cloves_ she thought as she took in the scent. She knew this scent, or so she thought she did. _Strange, this smell is awfully familiar but from where. _Images of soaring through the trees flashed through her mind. _InuYasha's scent? Wait… how do I know…_

Her eyes began to flutter open as curiosity pushed her to understand what her new found instincts were trying to tell her. "Inu… Yasha?" She looked up as her eyes struggled to focus on the two brilliant orbs that gazed down on her.

"Kagome!" InuYasha all but yelled. He knelt down beside her, relief evident in his face. "You stupid girl! Don't ever do that to me again! I thought I almost lost-" He stopped suddenly, embarrassed at how much emotion he let slip for the young miko.

"InuYasha," Kagome whispered as tears began to form in the corners of her eyes, "I'm so… I'm so sorry! What happened to me! All I remember was dark and-"

"Keh, you're fine now and that's all that matters," he mumbled. "I'll get Kaede. You need to eat something, you've been out for days." With that he got up and stalked out of the hut. He thought back through the endless waiting and worrying. He hadn't left her side the entire time, he was so afraid that he'd lose her. He watched as she would struggle in her sleep, going between chills and a fever. Every now and then she would whimper or cry out in pain, it tore at his heart to watch her go through all that while knowing that there wasn't a damn thing he could do to help her. He was worried that something had gone wrong in the spell, that he had somehow made things worse rather than better. Kaede had said it was dangerous but it was all he could have done or she would have surely died.

He shook his head to try and erase that thought from his mind. _No, I will NEVER let you die Kagome. _But still, there _**were **_consequences for what he did to save her… or so he was told. _What __**did**__ I do… What will become of her now?_

He continued to search for Kaede as he pondered over the fate of the young miko.

A/N: Hey guys! Sorry it took so long! Life ya know? Whew. Well hope it was worth the wait. Next one should be up real soon J Much Love *Little Bird*


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